Don’t Be That Douche – Part 4

Dudes, platforms like Facebook and Instagram are not dating apps.  You get that, right? Nevermind. You obviously don’t give a shit. You feel compelled to send messages to any woman you find remotely attractive.  Sometimes message after message after message. Sometimes for years. I’m sure that 34th “hey” or “sup” is going to get her attention. And that’s one of the easier things to deal with online.  You can ignore those. You can even ignore the “fine ur ugly anyway you fucking cunt” ones that follow an unanswered “your beautiful” (not a typo but a direct quote 9 times out of 10).

What’s a little more difficult to ignore are the unexpected pics (guys, put a fucking shirt on because you look like a whore), the unsolicited dick pics, your never ever wanted to be seen masturbation videos, or even straight up telling me you masturbated to my pics because you thought I would “like to know.”  I don’t. Ever. Don’t even give me that “block him” bullshit. I can’t preemptively block every creep on the planet, and that is excusing their behavior and putting the responsibility on me. How about men not being shitty little creeps? How about men stop sexually harassing strangers online? How about you act like a fucking adult, or is that too much to ask?

And before you start with the “well don’t post provocative pics online” part, first of all, fuck you.  Just shut the fuck up right now. These messages, dick pics, and yes even the masturbation videos predate that.  I’m talking years. Over a decade. I’m not even sure how long. It’s always been a part of my internet existence, which at this point is over 20 years.  About two years ago, I realized how much I had been censoring myself online in a very conscious effort to minimize the creepy comments and unwelcome messages. It didn’t matter.  I still got plenty of that regardless of my post, meme, very demure pic, or even on a joke post.

So I stopped censoring myself.  I’m not the problem. Men blaming me for their lack of impulse control and critical thinking skills is the problem.  Stop blaming someone else for your reaction. Your behavior, online and off, is your responsibility and yours alone. Nobody “makes” you do anything.  In fact, nobody “makes” you feel anything either. You’re in charge of that, too. If nobody has told you that, well, there you fucking go. Now I have.

So I think it’s time we call this what it is.  Men are slutty fucking whores. Hitting up people you don’t even know in a sexually inappropriate way and right off the bat?  Gross. Why don’t you show some self respect and stop acting so fucking easy? What kind of woman is going to want to marry a man who just gives it away?  And to strangers nonetheless.

(Note:  This is me merely flipping the script and using the same slurs men like to throw at us.  I think they are meaningless. Simply a fragile male ego needing to make himself feel better by putting us down.  Also, if you’re going to call me a cunt for this, please preface it with “uppity” because that’s my favorite.)

I’ve said before in my “I Love Sluts” blog post, sluts are awesome.  If you want to fuck on the first date, I don’t care. Fuck as many people as you want.  Go you. But it’s interesting, and by interesting I mean infuriating, that the same men who are trying to pressure us into sex, who are harassing us online, who are being politely turned down only to freak the fuck out, and those we won’t give the time of day are the ones calling us sluts and whores.

Quit telling me what I should change to try to avoid this.  There is already an ever increasing list of things women have to do on a daily basis to keep themselves safe.  From men. How about men stop acting like dangerous ticking timebombs? I once had a man tell me, “So a married woman posts pictures like this and expects not to get harassed?”  Yes, I do. Let’s not even get into the “married” part, which implies my body now belongs to someone else. Also, the guy’s profile pic was shirtless. Hypocritical much?

I have anxiety when I open my email or messages.  How many men can say that? Yeah, I’m sure a few. But how many women feel the same?  It’s not the same number. It’s not even in the same ballpark. If you can’t control yourself around women, maybe you are too emotionally unstable to be around them in any capacity.  Maybe you’re not mature enough for the internet, and you should probably ask your parents’ permission. But preferably your mom because your dad might have messaged me, too. This juvenile activity encompasses every age range.