Don’t Be That Douche – Part Deux/Electric Boogalo

Part 2 of 10.  If you’re wondering why there are 10, refer to part 1.  Okay, ready? Don’t make everything about your dick. Alright everyone, listen up because I cannot stress how important this is.  STOP MAKING EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR DICK! See, the all caps means I really, really mean it. Or I’m yelling. I’m not sure anymore. But in this case, it’s both.

First of all, just fucking stop it.  I get that men have sexual thoughts, but this sort of thing is not in any way restricted to my boudoir photos.  It happened before that. In fact, it happens slightly less now because screencap is my savior and public shaming is my kink.  I have had so many non-sexual posts sexualized for no fucking reason other than some random dude wants to make my post and the ensuing thread about his dick by saying something lewd and sometimes by even mentioning his dick.  My posts are not about your dick, I promise. So stop it already.

The easiest and most ridiculous way to demonstrate this fact is I once posted a joke, which I thought was kind of cute.  “I can have my cake and eat it too because I know how to eat a fucking cake.” Pretty nonsexual, huh. Fairly funny, too.  I thought anyway. Two guys went on and on about how they would like to watch video of me eating cake. Ugh. And then of course it progressed to other things like, you guessed it, hot dogs.  Haven’t heard that one before, boys. Except that I have. A lot. You cliched twats.

It didn’t stop there.  I then posted about how ridiculous it was to sexualize a post about cake, and two different men defended their behavior.  One even said, “Cake is very sexual.” Umm, no. No, it’s not. If you think it is, you’re doing it wrong. Stay as far away from me as you possibly can.  Also, you’re an asshole. There was no way to interpret my original post as sexual. It was two men wanting to make it about their dicks. And don’t sully my love of cake by mentioning your dick. Cake is fucking sacred.

Whether it’s a sexy picture, a spur of the moment selfie, a joke, a meme or what the fuck ever, I have had men make it about their dick.  Knock it the fuck off. If you feel you have to sexualize somebody’s post on FB or IG or whatever platform you’re abusing, I’m going to assume it’s because already nobody is interested in your dick.  Trust me, this is not helping your case. So I’m going to be really clear here to any man who says sexual things to women on the internet they do not know, go fuck yourself because I’m guessing nobody else wants to.