I’m really fucking sick (and tired) of men telling me how I’m doing it wrong. No matter what the subject is. Your unsolicited opinion is trash. For the most part, it is an excuse to talk down to me, not to “explain” whatever it is they think they are a fucking expert at. Oftentimes, they’re pulling it right out of their asses.
If I ask your opinion, great! Please, let me know what you think. But don’t assume I give a shit if I don’t know you and you just felt the need to jump in without knowing anything about me. Because I don’t. I don’t give a fuck, at all. Not a single one. It’s a form of one-upmanship, and it is neither welcomed nor appreciated. It’s a dick move. If you do think you have something of value to add and genuinely want to help, you could, I dunno, ask?
When I thought of this topic, I quickly wrote down a few of the types of comments that I have received the most:
— Backhanded compliments. (Example, in featured pic.)
— Explaining what I “actually” mean. (I know what I meant. That’s why I fucking said it.)
— Saying something not at all related or even relevant to the thread/post.
— Being completely misinformed about their “expertise.” Or just flat-out wrong. Or just spewing bullshit. Sometimes all of the above.
— Using memes as proof of their so-called facts and/or “research.”
— Sexualizing something not remotely sexual.
— Random men making completely inappropriate comments (see above).
— Tearing down other women in a feeble attempt to compliment me.
— Being a dick for no reason whatsoever, just stopping by to shit on my post. Come on dudes, it’s much easier to scroll. I do it all the time.
That’s just off the top of my head and probably what I’ve heard the most. It doesn’t by any means incorporate a fraction of the bullshit “advice” or the many unwarranted comments I receive. Daily.
Here’s the deal: This shit is not hard to figure out. If you’re friends, that’s different. People who know you, who know your personality and know what you’re going through, can offer great insight because… they fucking know you! Unsolicited opinions from strangers or near strangers are just using it as a chance to feel self-important. Or to be a prick. Oh, edgy! How clever!
Imagine feeling entitled enough to have the compulsion to insert your opinion into something that has absolutely nothing to do with you. And it’s usually underhandedly demeaning, belittling, and just plain douchebaggery disguised as, umm… I don’t even know anymore. It’s getting too fucking hard to wade through the bullshit. Whatever their intentions are, that doesn’t matter because that is what the overwhelming majority of those unsolicited comments feel like on the receiving end. But hey, I guess somebody’s gotta tell us ladies what’s what.
I get that this is not exclusive to men and I know men deal with this at times. But this is my experience. This is my story. If you want to tell your story, do it on your page or start your own blog. And if you want to bitch about me, please use the word “uppity.” It’s my favorite right now. But keep the fucking whataboutisms out of my face. It’s a weak-ass argument to begin with and usually has nothing to do with the subject at hand.
I personally can’t remember the last unsolicited opinion that was helpful, excluding friends of course. So random men who want to tell me how or why I’m wrong or what I could do be doing better, ask if I would like your opinion. I might. I probably don’t or I would have asked you in the first place. In most cases, just shut the fuck up if no one asked you.