It’s literally impossible to objectify yourself. Objectification has to do with where the power lies. If it’s being done to you and without your consent, that’s objectifying. However, if a woman chooses to plaster naked pictures of herself all over the internet or have sex with as many people as she wants, it’s not self-objectification; it’s called empowerment. Of course, empowerment means different things to different people. If they’re being taken advantage of in any way, completely different story.

It’s empowerment if it’s under my control. When I take and share pictures, I control every aspect of that from the shot to the sharing. Now once it’s out there, that picture is out of my control. I know that and accept that. It’s a risk I consider every single time (then usually go ahead and just big fat do it anyway), but I do still take the time to think about it. You know, for at least a second or two.

I recently had an argument with a friend. I’m going to use that term loosely here. He said I should “expect” online harassment because “I put myself out there like that.” No fucking shit. Guess what? I’m “out there” regardless. I’m out there because I exist. I might as well be the person I am and the person I want to be, who is also a person I happen to like. You know what? It took me 43 years to get here, I will fucking own that shit.

His response? “That sounds like a lot of drama.” Hmmm… Me wanting to be myself is a lot of drama and men can’t help but harass me because of it, so I should accept that. Except that I don’t. Men are perfectly capable of controlling themselves. Anyone making excuses for anything else is allowing this bullshit concept to continue. I won’t accept that either. If you are not willing to be part of the solution (a radical solution such as ‘hey let’s not harass women and treat them like people instead’), then you are of no use to me. Dead weight. And it’s time I started dropping the dead weight.

Another thing that is completely under my control is how I choose to deal with the fucking degenerates who decide because they see a sexy image, they can say whatever they want to me. Well, yes, technically they can. But not without repercussions and I’ve made an example out of many. That is largely because I have spent years deleting messages and comments and just moving along like nothing happened. Until it happened again. And again. And again.

Since doing nothing did nothing, I’ve gone full tilt on the other end of the spectrum. If some stranger wants to make some condescending, belittling, or degrading remark about anything I post or share (mind you this is in no way limited to my pictures), I will hit back with everything I’ve got. Seriously, slime bags. Come at me, brah. I fucking dare you.