I know, I know, a man writing a blog on a feminist page? What’s this world coming to, right? Lol. But in all seriousness, here at TSF we’re all inclusive. And gentlemen this one is for you. Now I’m gonna need you all to gather round real close. Come on, bring it in brochachos; it’s important this time.

OK now that you’re all here listen up. I need you to take your “nice guy” whining and turn it sideways. Then I’m gonna need you to shove it waaaay up your assholes, as DEEP as you can get it. Because you’re all full of shit with your phony victim complex. And each and every one of you is anything but a “nice guy,” you herd of invertebrate fuck knuckles.

See, a truly nice person doesn’t do things for another person with the expectation of something besides gratitude in return. They do the nice thing and that’s it. End of story.

You, on the other hand, help a woman move some heavy furniture or give her a ride because she’s in a bind, and you expect her to throw herself at you with puppy dog eyes and undying love. Or you go full shit gibbon and send her a dick pic (come on guys, that was lesson one)

She doesn’t owe you shit, turbo.

You met the baseline criteria for being a good person and then you shit the bed by being a sanctimonious prick after she rejected your awkward sexual advances or declined your repeated offers of Netflix and chill (so original, much wow).

And yeah, rejection sucks. It happens to all of us at some point. But to get pissy and butt hurt because you got “friend zoned” (that’s a rant for another day…) just shows how shallow and shitty you really are. You didn’t have a genuine interest in her, you were just looking to get your dick wet. If you DID care about her you’d be totally cool with having a kick-ass new friend. And your weak facade of niceness isn’t fooling anyone.

What you need to do is up your fucking game.

Quit trying to win a girl’s heart with the constant “White Knight” act. Baseline common decency just ain’t going to cut it because that’s the way YOU SHOULD BE ACTING ANYWAY. Get to know her, take an interest in what she likes, share your interests with her. Make the effort if you really mean it.

And quit the whiny, crybaby bullshit and act like the adult you’re pretending to be. You might actually get a worthwhile relationship out of it.